Sympathy Note Writing

I am all for letters all the time, but there are some cases in which you should absolutely, every time send something tangible. No Facebook message, Tweet, or text is ever, ever, EVER a replacement for a sympathy letter. I know that they can be challenging to write; that you feel like you don't always know what to say, that you don't want to sound trite.

Fortunately, you are not alone. There are experts you can turn to in this for guidance. Most recently, I found a great wealth of points on what not to say in sympathy writing over at the European Paper Company blog. This article, written by Cole Imperi, really analysed some of the typical items mentioned in sympathy notes and had insights that I hadn't considered.

Most importantly to me, she said, "I didn’t say I knew or I understood when I really don’t know and I really don’t understand. Plus, I was positive. I wasn’t talking about death, I was talking about life. Be considerate of this when you sit down to write a sympathy note."

Thanks for the insights, Cole. I'd make you an honorary Alliance member, but the record shows you already are one. By the way, Cole frequently writes about episotolary issues on her own blog, Simplicity Embellished. It's worth checking out.

Comments

[Tamra Orr]

Donovan, this exact subject is the focus of the column I just wrote for The Letter Exchange. I also quoted Cole's article in it. Putting compassion and sorrow on paper isn't easy, but it can mean so much to the person you are sending it to that it is worth every bit of deliberation over each each word.

[Cole Imperi]

Donovan,
Thanks so much for posting this! And yes, I've been a card-carrying member for several years now.
Thanks much for bringing to light a topic many of us would rather avoid.

And Tamra...I will have to check that out! I am so excited you found the article useful as well.

xoxox to you both,
Cole

[Danielle]

Thank you for this post! I've always struggled with sympathy notes, and Cole's advice will be helpful to me in the future.

I've also discovered two new blogs to read so thank you for that, too, Donovan!

[Jan]

This is wonderful--I'm going to mention it on my blog, too.