Postal Queries: Encouraging Thank You Notes

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – William Arthur Ward.

Happy Thanksgiving! I’ve recently finished a marathon of thank you notes and letters following my wedding. Emily Post etiquette says that I had six months to complete them in, but, to me, that was unacceptable. People needed to know that we had received their well-wishes, enjoyed their company and were basking in the love that they had showed us. Plus, I love sending thank you notes. They are just another present to me. I send thank you notes for thank you notes, hence our “It was my pleasure” cards. I know I’m not alone in this and I know that most of you readers are nodding in agreement.

I also know that you probably know someone or a lot of someones who don’t send thank yous. I’m not sure where that sad trend began. I don’t think that modern technology is necessarily to blame. What was once a staple of proper communication is now so rare as to be impressive. It can be quite the smart move to send a handwritten thank you following a job interview as it makes you stand out. Once, that was not the case. Once, not sending one would have been a surefire way to not get that job.

So while I don’t know what changed, exactly, I do know that I want to help fix it. I am heartened every time I see a parent buy thank you notes for their child to send. If someone in your family is a particular offender, try gifting them some personalized stationery or fancy thank yous this holiday season. Add some postage stamps to really send home the message. Passive-aggressive? A little, but hey, it’s better than just not giving them anything, right? If you all have any other ideas about getting thank you notes out of non-writing people, please share in the comments! And thank you!

Comments

[Cynthia]

Yes yes yes. My Mother taught us always to write thank you notes. Me and my next older brother even send thank you notes to each other and the family! It is a touch of grace and kindness in our lives that should not be overlooked.

Unfortunately I am still holding a grudge from years ago where I bought a good friend a nice wedding shower present and never received any thank you note or otherwise.

[Nicolle]

Congratulations and well wishes on your wedding!

I love sending thank you notes and really wish more people sent them as well. That's why I love the holiday season, first I get to send holiday cards to pretty much everyone I know, and then after Christmas I get to send thank you cards. In my family, there's only a couple of us who send thank you notes, my two cousins after they receive gifts of any kind and myself.

As for getting people to write more thank you notes, I'm not really sure what would work. I would think that receiving one would be enough to make them think they should as well. But, I do like the idea of including a set of cards and stamps to inspire them.

[Cindy R.]

I wasn't raised to write thank you cards. It was the example of an older friend who inspired me to start--and she did so by giving me some really pretty cards. I'm not always so good about it now though, but I do try. My wedding and even shower thank yous were a high priority so I understand you there. Congrats, by the way :)